How To Change Toxic Thinking and Limiting Beliefs
In our wellness practice we can always tell who is going to get better results with their health simply based on how they speak and think about their health, and how attached they are to their “Big Why”. That’s what this whole podcast episode is about. Here is a link to a video I did explaining the crucial importance of your “Big Why”. I think it’s the most important video I’ve ever made!
The way you think determines your beliefs, your beliefs determine your actions, and your actions will determine your results - so in order to get great results in health, longevity, business, relationships, or in any other area of life you have to change the way that you THINK.
“As a man thinketh, so he is.” (or woman obviously, it’s not 1903 anymore)
-James Allen 1903
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
Limiting beliefs are a huge roadblock for most people because we actually believe them to be true without evaluating the reality. Even if we have seen other people do it (like lose 80 lbs in 3 months) we tell ourselves that we can’t because we maybe have failed in the past. We “rationalize”, or tell ourselves “rational lies”.
“I can’t lose 50 lbs in 2 months.”
“I’m too old to do that.”
It’s just genetic I just have to live with it.”
“I can’t meditate because my mind goes too fast.”
“I’m just not any good at that.”
Henry Ford summed it really well in the early 1900’s when he said:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”
I cannot stand the word CAN’T, and you can probably hear in the episode that I literally get worked up thinking about it. It drives me insane. I would rather my kids use much worse 4-letter words. The same is true for sabotaging self-talk!
“I hate my nose.”
“I hate my body.”
“I hate my financial situation.”
“Why am I so stupid with relationships?”
You would never be friends with someone who spoke to you the way you probably speak to yourself all the time!
Like everything in life, it’s your RESPONSIBILITY to change these thought patterns. It may very well not be your FAULT that you have these patterns, maybe you grew up in a negative home, or a fear-based home, or you’ve been lied to and you’ve just developed these patterns over the years, which isn’t necessarily your FAULT, but it’s your RESPONSIBILITY to take action and change these things. I mention in the podcast a short video (3 mins) from Will Smith talking about the difference between FAULT and RESPONSIBILITY that I highly recommend you check out. Will Smith Fault vs. Responsibility:
1. Catch, Snap, and Replace
Catch yourself with negative self-talk or limiting beliefs. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and SNAP yourself when you catch yourself. Replace the limiting belief with an affirmative belief and move on.
2. Speak Life and Power Into Yourself (and Fake it til you Make it)
Speak positive affirmations out loud to yourself, even if you don’t believe it. In the episode I discuss several strategies like:
- Affirmation apps that have 100s of positive affirmations - find the ones that speak to you.
- Laminating affirmations to speak while showering - kill 2 birds with one stone.
3. Surround Yourself with Positivity (and replace negative sources)
Put epigrams and powerful quotes on your walls, mirrors, fridge, anywhere you see them and read them. Make a vision board with exactly the direction you want to be headed in life and with positive reinforcement. Get rid of toxic sources of negativity like the news and things that lead to toxic comparison like social media. This is becoming a massive problem leading to anxiety and depression in our youth. GET RID OF IT!
4. Practice gratitude regularly
This has changed my life more than anything I’ve ever done. Focus on the good in your life. If you are listening to this podcast or reading these show notes then there are certainly millions of people who have life worse off than you, but they are probably still grateful for what they have. Focus on the good and eliminate the bad. Here are a few of the resources I have used and mention in the podcast, but gratitude is FREE.
5. Look more deeply at your personal beliefs and ask for help
You may need to dig further into your past and your belief system. There are many good books I mention (The Emotion Code, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, The Biology of Belief), but often these belief patterns are hard to recognize without help and there is a strong role for help with this - therapists, psychologists, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when trying to dive deep into your own personal belief systems to improve yourself. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
Lastly, here is the quote that I read twice in the podcast episode that we have on the wall in our office - it’s above our kids area for a reason. I believe it’s one of the most powerful quotes of all time. Print this off and put it on your wall. Here are the words, and here is a link to a movie scene where a high school student reads the quote. (only 2:00 long, contains one explicit word)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.